Dear Mr Postman .. I see this letter contains some good news .. it must be so terrible for a daughter to be separated from her mother, when she's in her last days ...
Yea .. I've been allowed back to see my mother - she was ecstatic and just delighted to see me ... saying she'd missed me so much - I know I'm her rock .. she's said she'd have never been able to get through if I hadn't been around, by providing her with security, support and obviously a lot of love.
I explained what had happened and why I'd been banned - she took it all in and was surprised too - but as she'd owned a Care Home .. she could understand and relate to the processes. I just wanted to make sure she wouldn't worry .. and her comment was "I can't worry about it as I can't do anything, and I don't need to waste energy". To have such such an attitude in her situation is staggering.
However I can't say I'm happy .. not everything was right - but a family meeting will take place later next week, when a number of issues will be looked at to see how we can sort these challenges out.
The worst is - that we're no longer allowed to give Mum her lemon drink .. it's like giving a child a sweet and then immediately taking it away - I used this analogy and Mum, thank goodness, understood - what an attitude .. I am so lucky!!
On a positive note - I told Mum about Laura's visit with my goddaughter Amy & her brother, and told her we'd walked to the sea front and along to the pier and back home & then had roast pheasant etc .. & that I'd cooked it the way she'd taught me! We had fresh raspberries and Cornish clotted cream for pudding (desert), followed by Laura's brownies and coffee. Mum then asked how Mick was - she remembered Micky's name! Amazing.
Mum then told me to go home and get some rest .. as we'd had an emotional cry .. but that is something that my mother can't do any more .. the stroke has affected the cry mechanism - so that 'expression mechanism' doesn't work. She's always been incredibly concerned about me .. and looking after myself ..
People say that your true self comes out in times like these - I am humbled by her .. a beacon of light in a really unfortunate time ..
I explained what had happened and why I'd been banned - she took it all in and was surprised too - but as she'd owned a Care Home .. she could understand and relate to the processes. I just wanted to make sure she wouldn't worry .. and her comment was "I can't worry about it as I can't do anything, and I don't need to waste energy". To have such such an attitude in her situation is staggering.
However I can't say I'm happy .. not everything was right - but a family meeting will take place later next week, when a number of issues will be looked at to see how we can sort these challenges out.
The worst is - that we're no longer allowed to give Mum her lemon drink .. it's like giving a child a sweet and then immediately taking it away - I used this analogy and Mum, thank goodness, understood - what an attitude .. I am so lucky!!
On a positive note - I told Mum about Laura's visit with my goddaughter Amy & her brother, and told her we'd walked to the sea front and along to the pier and back home & then had roast pheasant etc .. & that I'd cooked it the way she'd taught me! We had fresh raspberries and Cornish clotted cream for pudding (desert), followed by Laura's brownies and coffee. Mum then asked how Mick was - she remembered Micky's name! Amazing.
Mum then told me to go home and get some rest .. as we'd had an emotional cry .. but that is something that my mother can't do any more .. the stroke has affected the cry mechanism - so that 'expression mechanism' doesn't work. She's always been incredibly concerned about me .. and looking after myself ..
People say that your true self comes out in times like these - I am humbled by her .. a beacon of light in a really unfortunate time ..
Thank you Mr Postman for delivering this letter .. it is good to know that they are together again ...
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters
Positive Letters
6 comments:
Hi Hilary
Sorry to hear of your challenges with your mother. I know you will continue to be the strong person she can rely on. Keep up the good work.
Jerry
Hilary, I am so glad that you could see your mother again. It is heartfelt feeling that your mother cares about you as well as you care about her.
Shaw Funami
Fill the Missing Link
PS: Though I know you will, but please visit my newest post as follows. I tagged you, Hilary:
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-blog-tagged-more-about-mrs-shaw.html
Thanks Jerry .. it's testing me to limits I haven't been to before .. & I have to hold myself strong in rather more circumstances than I need at the time .. my mother is so ill.
As you say I am at least back with my mother and I know that will reassure her.
Thanks for your support - Hilary: Be Positive Be Happy
Hi Shaw .. thanks for yor comments re my mother .. I need all the courage and strength of holding it all together now .. it is very difficult.
Your light relief .. of positive facts! .. I'll do that for my mother and myself -
All the best - Hilary: Be Positive Be Happy
Hilary,
It is heart warming to see the relationship that your have with your mother! It is the most difficult time in your relationship but she appreciates your help during this difficult period in her life!
Keep a stiff upper lip!
Best Regards
Pete Baca
Hi Pete .. many thanks for your support .. it is an extremely difficult time at the moment .. & it's just not my mother .. I intend to get through it all - but I don't think I've ever been tested like this before ..
I'm very grateful for your thoughts -
Hilary: Be Positive Be Happy
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