The poor Phantom has been forced to reappear in the 21st century with the most irreverent production he could possibly be in …
Lon Chaney as Erik, The Phantom,
in Universal's 1925 silent film version
… an advert for Bile Beans … now where did she get that idea from? Bile Beans …
Bile Beans … c/o Edward Lear … no, no, poor dear would not go near Edward Lear with her Bile Beans ad, even if he did craft this first limerick, but not the second ...
There was an Old Man of the Nile,
Who sharpened his nails with a file,
Till he cut out his thumbs,
And said calmly, 'This comes
Of sharpening one's nails with a file!
Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit
Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's have beans with every meal!
Now the poor Phantom was totally bemused, also worried about this query …
 |
Phantom – can I come in?
I don't know, can you?
Cursing quietly, the vampire backed away, foiled yet again by the English teacher's pedantry.
Bile on the Nile … File on Dial …
Beans Need … Jean Cleats …
She now Weeps, the Phantom Sleeps
Is she a vampile, or a phantomile ...?
 |
| Frontispiece to the sheet music for the 'Bile Bean March' |
Phantom you'd better enrol this strange dribbling living being into an English class … so she can put those grey cells to work on something sensible, rather than how to toot musical fruit …
She's a little older now - but
back then the Phantom was
interested .....
Surely Phantom in all your one hundred and twenty four years of being published you'd have something sensible to help this poor lady write about you … please come out of the woodwork, or slither down the ghostly advert for Bile Beans … Vile Beans …
Found in York, England
Tag line: Who But Me Could Come Up with This Post for the poor Phantom (of the Opera) prompt – I feel for him … I wonder if they had Bile Beans on the Nile …
Bile Beans information! - a crossing continents fraudulent concoction ...
Edward Lear Nile limerick ... Nonsense.org - there are some other limericks following on - which all make interesting reads ... no Phantoms though ...
Apologies to all who read this … especially to Gordon Leroux, who penned the novel Le Fantome de l'Opera in 1909
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
39 comments:
There’s a charming lady named Hilary,
Who champions the fine art of sillery,
With as you all know
A parade of bons mots,
So thank you as always dear Hilary.
Not quite Edward Lear, but it will have to do!
Way better than mine David ... I thank you for slotting into the theme so happily! Great fun - cheers Hilary
I am laughing as I wondered what comment to come up with here, but David has beaten me to it so I will accept defeat. Cheers Diane
Hi, Hilary,
Only you could come up with a funny post that has me in stitches.
You have an excellent sense of humor.
Shalom shalom
I'd never heard of bile beans until your post, but Carter's Little Liver Pills were another con.
We had a slightly different version of the "beans, beans" poem....
Hi Hilary! Thank you so much for being a part of the WEP. You bring a unique dimension to it. I loved it and enjoyed a good laugh. Btw, the English teacher's pedantry is so relatable. Brought back the memory of a special teacher.
-Sonia
@ Diane - yes ... David's excellent limerick is perfect isn't it ... especially 'the sillery' from Hilary ... great to see so soon ... thank you.
@ Pat - I'm delighted that you were happily laughing as you read through ... I couldn't get my head into writing something sensible ... so I'm very happy to accept the compliment ...
@ Janice - yes lots of 'cons' back in the day ... I wanted something to rhyme with Edward Lear's limerick on the Nile ... and it was Bile Beans that rose to the top of the melting plot ...
@ John - there was another verse ... which I thought I should omit from this 'very proper' blog post and not submit the poor WEP judges with a more difficult read?!
@ Sonia - thank you ... I'm afraid I'm off the rails rather more often than I should be ... but I'm delighted to amuse blogging friends. That's great the English Teacher's pedantry makes sense to you ... and took you back to your school years ...
Thanks so much to you all - just happy to make you chuckle - cheers Hilary
That's quite the combo.
Thank you so much for my early morning smiles.
Talk about the unexpected. Too funny, Hilary. Hope this means all is well and your spirit is lifted!
Just awesome! Still smiling!
Also wanted to say, thank you for reading all those posts. I hope it wasn't too repetitive. Tried to change it up, still, it was fun to do. Thanks again!
If the Phantom just takes his Bile Beans on the regular, all his troubles will be solved. Who knew?
This was a lot of fun!
LOL - Love this! You always make my day better, Hilary!
Also - my dad used to say/sing that 2nd limerick ALL the time - thanks for the memories :)
@ Liz - yes ... at least the post is amusing everyone ...
@ EC - great ... I'm happy to help you with your early morning smiles - we all need them and I'm happy to provide!
@ Yolanda - yes ... I'm afraid totally unexpected ... all well, just not really quite in step with life ... my spirit is always lifted, I'm fortunate that way ... so happy you found it totally amusing ...
Please re reading your Halloween poems/stories was a pleasure ... I'll be back to read the others in the next few days ... they're always good to read.
@ Charlotte - I have to say my problems were solved when I came across Bile Beans ... poor Phantom though. Just happy to bring a little light relief for us all to slot into ...
@ Jemi - thanks ... that's great to read ... the blogging fraternity is always encouraging and I'm happy if everyone's day is happier by reading this ...
Oh yes - there's another verse ... and I'm sure many kids sang that verse more often than was necessary for all in line of hearing ... I know there were repetitive songs we as kids used to sing ... 'there was an old lady locked in the lavatory ....' my parents went 'nuts'!! Happy Days!
Cheers to you all - have happy weekends - and eat your beans!! the Phantom has quietly retired ... Hilary
Oh Hilary, this was priceless! Such fun! New take on an old rake. And you, my dear, are unique. Thanks so much for lightening up this story!
oh hilarious Loved this post It plays now in my hear Bile on Nile, file on dial and after reading on that poster 'medically approved' I had to investigate and found out it was a laxative lol
Till he cut out his thumbs
And said calmly "this comes
Of sharpening one's nails with a file".
Oh dear.
@ Denise - thank you ... I just had to do something completely off the wall - thankfully putting the post up amongst friends, whom I guess would enjoy the irreverent take ...
@ Marja - yes - these earworms can be very trying ... I do hope Bile on the Nile doesn't last too long! I could certainly have written a lot more about Bile Beans - and thought we all knew enough about snake oil salesmen ... but I'm happy you took a bit of time to check out Bile Beans - just an extraordinary name for a great many ingredients, that didn't help anyone ...
@ Hels - yes ... Edward Lear was a great 'nonsense literary, especially limerick' writer and poet ... and my verses didn't comply with limerick writing.
Thanks so much to the three of you for joining in my 'ludicrous' take on this prompt ... smiley days - cheers Hilary
This is just the kind of silly informative thing I needed to read before turning to "news" and other ridiculous subjects. Good work. Bile Beans are now forever linked with the Phantom of the Opera.
Love this!!! Thanks for the smile today, Hilary. :)
You are so creative:)
@ Dan - thanks ... glad you enjoyed your early read! The "news" is very disturbing - it doesn't last long in this house. Poor Phantom with his Bile Beans - forever linked!
@ Elizabeth - happy to see you smiled through the post ...
@ Sandra - one needs to up the ante sometimes ... and I really needed to put a post up - this was an easy way out!
Thanks so much ... cheers Hilary
So funny. I loved it. English teacher...can you? And the vampire's intention is foiled!
Silly me. I've been avoiding beans! Love the English teacher's response, and your note about "put those grey cells to work". Any memory of Hercule Poirot is good.
very funny twist. You are quite clever! Thanks for this post
Hilary, I couldn't refrain from smiling while reading your entry. Irreverent and surprising in its multiple associations.
Being married to one, I particularly like 'the English teacher's pedantry.' Hehe.
A truly amusing take on the prompt, Hilary. Well done.
This is too funny! Loved your take on the prompt. Thank you, Hilary.
@ Kelly – thank you … and I'm so glad I included that funny query 'the teacher … can you?' with the vampire's intention being foiled …
@ Jacqui – oh no – you can't avoid beans!! and oh gosh I'd forgotten the connection to Hercule Poirot … thanks for that link up – the grey cells are definitely slowing down …
@ Joanne – thanks … it was fun to craft together …
@ Olga – I'm just glad the post brought a smile to you … totally derogatory I'm afraid – but made me smile as I drafted it up.
@ Sandra – oh are you married to an English teacher – not helpful at times … but one can giggle away …
@ Christopher – thanks so much – I enjoyed it … so appreciate others who do …
@ Nila – nothing else came to my mind … so I'm glad this has amused …
Great to see you all – thanks for enjoying this odd take on the Phantom prompt! Cheers - Hilary
Hi Hilary, this was such an amusing post! I loved it. :))
Very funny, Hilary! Top notch contribution to this month's WEP
@ Shilpa - thanks ... so pleased you found it amusing ... delighted to read it ...
@ Lee - thanks ... I thought it'd amuse a few WEP participants ... and am very happy with the response to the 'dreadful' post - poor Phantom!!
Really appreciate your comments - cheers Hilary
Wonderful Hilary! Just what we needed after reading all the high drama and tragedy of Phantom of the Opera. This was such a fun read.
Thanks Kalpana - I definitely needed to do something different ... and I'm afraid this came into those little grey cells! I'm happy it's amusing everyone ... cheers Hilary
What a fun post! I absolutely love David's opening comment...
And the English teacher's pedantry! :D
Thanks Donna - I'm glad you've been over to read it - I'm afraid it's a totally OTT post ... i.e. over the top - and very irreverent ... luckily amusing the commenters ... cheers Hilary
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